..pinta-Sera...

Graduating At LAst...

2009-04-08T22:55:00.004+08:00

Graduating--at last!! I feel more relieve more than excited. For most of us--graduates, the sweet scent of freedom is almost everywhere.

It seems that years of deprivation will finally kick back.

1. I can go to the mall without any permission.

2. I can go anywhere.

3. I can talk freely.

4. I can retaliate.

5. I can mess up.

6. I can be free.

7. I can flee.

8. I can be a wild child.

9. I can decide on my own.

10. I can shape up my life.

I can even have a boyfriend now!

I know I can do anything I want, be it good or bad. For one who is so thirsty of freedom, I choose to be tamed for a longer time. Longer than sixteen years of academic imprisonment... I feel like graduating from college is merely a test of patience to push through life. It seems that it merely signifies that I passed the Initial Interview for my life-long job.

The downside? people expect more from me now. Stop doing this. Stop doing that. Start being like this. Stop being like that. What the heck. I thought I'm over the rules now. I didn't expect that THERE ARE MORE RULES TO FOLLOW: Society Rules, Business Laws, Company Regulations I can't even escape the sucking relationship rules.

I realized that I can't walk straight yet. Real life situations made my college life look like a ridiculous tale of a five years old. I'm back at level zero. I feel like I have to struggle for my life. For my dreams at least. The worst part is: whatever decisions I make, it will surely affect my future. And I'm the only blamable creature for it.

Good morning

2009-02-02T09:15:00.001+08:00

Good morning!

I woke up early today—six thirty. I have finally managed to do the long due task of cleaning the bath room and now, I’m sitting (blogging) at the sofa while waiting for my uncle to come out of the room I’ve just finished cleaning. He’ll probably flood the bathroom floor again.

My cousins are awake, Cassy and Clarisse woke Candice with a loud cry of “Wake up! Wake up!”. Cassy pressed Candice’s Elmo stuffed toy which sang noisily. She woke up crying—whether for help or annoyance, I didn’t care. They always do that anyway.

Their mom’s gone already—she’s always grouchy nowadays because we’re having payroll problems again. She’s being bugged by suppliers and she’s getting frustrated because she feels that can’t control everything.

This is a great morning for the family isn’t it?? I wonder what will happen later…

Uncle just came out, I gotta go. I’ll be back later!

Good Morning

2009-02-02T09:12:00.001+08:00

Good morning!

Their mom’s gone already—she’s always grouchy nowadays because we’re having payroll problems again. She’s being bugged by suppliers and she’s getting frustrated because she can’t control everything.

This is a great morning for the family isn’t it??

Uncle just came out, I gotta go. I’ll be back later!

FW: [..pinta-Sera...] TRIP TO NAVOTAS

2009-01-28T10:31:00.000+08:00

January 27, 2009

TRIP TO NAVOTAS.

My main task today was to go to Navotas and visit my grandmother. I was supposed to aid her in saying the customary goodbye prayer for Mother Mary and Sto. Nino. (It’s a tradition in the family to let the Mother and Nino stay in our house for one to two weeks every year before the start and until after New Year) since she isn’t really feeling well.

At exactly five thirty in the evening, I set off. It takes two rides on jeepneys, half a kilometer walk, more than fifty bumps on my shoulders (for trying to avoid colliding with people in Divisoria) and an optional ride on a pedicab to reach my grandmother’s house.

It’s almost dark when I took the second jeepney. I was the first passenger so basically, I didn’t notice that it is too small compared to the size of a normal jeepney. I sat at the first space that I could sit on, farthest from the driver and nearest to the jumping area. The top of my head occasionally bumped with the jeepney’s roof so I have to slouch forward to keep my head on.

I was daydreaming and looking out at nowhere when suddenly a huge man shadowed the entrance and sat beside me. I looked around and realize that the jeepney was indeed too small even for just the two of us. I squinted at him as people started to climb up and find their seats. What I saw made me burst out a laugh. He was so huge (reminds me of a grizzly bear I saw on TV) that he was hunkered down, his position was so painful. That was the first time that I silently thanked God for making me small. I painfully glanced at the others, they are all the same as grizzly bear (huge guy) , I guess I was the only one who was fortunate to look like a dwarf. I can’t stop giggling at the thought and was too ashamed so I looked out away from them. I bit my lip really hard and tried to concentrate on other thoughts.

Then my eyes landed on a man in front of me. He seems asleep as his head dangled here and there. It even occasionally bumped into the metal railing (ouch!). I wondered if he was silently laughing at me for behaving like a crazy person because I had noticed that the corner of his lips seemed to twitch and suppressed a smile. At Agora I called for the driver to stop the jeepney. Instead of taking a pedicab, I decided to walk.

Then somebody called me “Miss,…”

It was the sleeping guy at the jeepney. He asked my name and introduce himself “I’m Francis” he said. At first, I was hesitant to talk to him. I weighed the situation. We were in a market, full of busy people but I know that if something happens and I begin to shout, people will come to rescue me. I talked to him. He seemed friendly and wanted to get my number (he asked two times). Thank God I can still remember my Grandma’s lectures about this kind of stuff, of course I politely refused to give him my number. As we walked on, I found out that we were neighbors—well not me, but basically my grandmother’s neighbor. So even if I wanted to shake him off, I did not have a choice but to walk home with him.

At last I reached my Grandma’s house. I bid him goodnight… he seemed reluctant to go but I smiled and hinted that it was time to go.

He’s kinda cute though! Oh’ well, so long story for a trip to an old woman’s house…The only benefit that I got for today’s trip: It lifted my spirit for a change. These past few months I was bored and still bored. At least God made me laugh today (even if I seemed to look crazy..!!)

--
Posted By my_lost_world to ..pinta-Sera... at 1/28/2009 09:56:00 AM

No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
Version: 8.0.233 / Virus Database: 270.10.14/1920 - Release Date: 01/27/09 18:15:00

TRIP TO NAVOTAS

2009-01-28T09:56:00.000+08:00

January 27, 2009

TRIP TO NAVOTAS.

Then somebody called me “Miss,…”

At last I reached my Grandma’s house. I bid him goodnight… he seemed reluctant to go but I smiled and hinted that it was time to go.

Awakened

2009-01-27T11:01:00.001+08:00

I was gone for a few weeks (or months?!).

My favorite cliché ‘been bz’ is here again.

But anyway, I promise to write again so as to ease my worries.

After all, this is an online journal.

One more thing, I promise to try and be happy.

Oh God, knock me out! Please send someone to knock me out!

Enough of this!. I’m getting crazy again!!

Email: can_marge1008@yahoo.co

maryjaneaguila@gmail.com

Website: http://pintasera.blogspot.com

BOURNE IDENTITY

2008-11-24T10:10:00.003+08:00

It has been years since BOURNE IDENTITY was shown in cinemas. Either I was busy or stupid enough not to know how good it was. I regret it now. Robert Ludlum's creation is great: detailed and exciting. If you'll pay attention all through out the mind-numbing chase, you'll get so excited that the book will leave you breathless!!

Ok. Enough blabbering, if you want the book just get it here.
ok?? bye. bye.

ps. I'm really busy but i'll go crazy (and probably won't survive) without a book!

GEEK LOGIC FOR EVERYDAY LIFE.

2008-10-28T12:51:00.002+08:00

dO yOU fEEL bad about LifE??? good news. I've got some help from a generous uploader named: workman
hope you'll enjoy!!!~~~

Geek Logik - Upload a Document to Scribd

ARTEMIS FOWL BY EION COLFER

2008-10-28T12:09:00.004+08:00

I'm finished reading these books--it's a two-thumbs up for younger ones. Mr. Colfer and his military-style narration coupled with his limitless imagination with technology is helpful--at least to non-tech like me.

If any of you guys want to read the books.. just send a message. Its free. I'm really thankful for those who uploaded these ebooks and in return, I'd like to share them with you--just for fun.

You can purchase these books here:
National Book Store

The books are uploaded for entertainment purposes and not for profit purposes or whatsoever.

End of Semester

2008-10-27T13:37:00.001+08:00

ok. tension is in the air. or maybe, this post is a little bit late for such a word.
sorry.
Anyway, I was really ........REallY ... busy.
Nyts working out Feasib-Study are over.
No more Groupings.
No more Reports.
No more Quizzes.
No more Major Exams.
No more pestering Mr. Moreno at Strategic Management class.

Welcome OJT.
Welcome part-time job.
Welcome GradPic Fees.

Geez.. Everybody is excited, jotting down hurried 'thank you' notes for everyone,
Kissing everyone goodbye--did I say kiss?--not that, bidding anyone (enemy or friend) good byes.

I wonder how I've touched my classmates lives? will I still be a part of their happy college life after a few years? or will they simply forget that such a pimple like me existed in their life?
Right. Now I'm being sentimental. This is crazy. I'm feeling nauseous with these observation.

Cram MJ Cram!

2008-10-05T21:16:00.004+08:00

Congratz to me, I didn't pass out during my most exhausting week.

I managed to stay awake for more than 48 hours--straight! Mind you, it could be nothing to insomniacs but to people who sleeps six to eight hours a day, that's a very big sacrifice!

Tomorrow, Monday, will be our defense day for feasibility study. ( finally!)
Tonight, I'm supposed to prepare everything... which simply means, NO SLEEP again, I'll try to wink though.

What irritates me most is that there are so many household chores that keep popping up whenever I sit in front of this laptop. It's like they're shouting: "Do this! Clean Me! I need help!"
Oh My, how am I suppose to concentrate on my presentation?

Oh gosh I'm cramming. (you can hit me later for having the time to blog... I need an outlet for this irritable feeling)

To worsen the situation, Feasib isn't my only problem. I'm suppose to make a book about Starbuck's Corporate Social Responsibility. Due date? Tomorrow. HOW in the world will i be able to make a book in just one night? Even Harry Potter's bookish friend :Hermione Granger haven't done such thing. Aw.

So anyone who will piss me tonight will be very very sorry. (kkkk...is that a threat?)

The kiss

2008-10-04T23:46:00.000+08:00

—EARLY YEARS—

Vicky and Charles were friends>>> nadevelop ung friendship nila thru barkada..kc every vacation umuuwi si vicky sa Valenzuela. May cousin na girl si Vicky, C Fel,..both of them are best of friends kaya ang mga kaibigan ni Fel, friends din ni Vicky.

Every time na umuuwi c vicky sa Valenzuela, she and fel would roam around,..usually, they go to church with their barkadas,,,magpapacute sa mga guys.. maghahanap ng crush..blah-blah-blah..the usual teenage stuffs.. Crush ni vicky c ronald, isa sa mga kabarkada nila…isang hunk, ala diet ocampo, baby face,at maputi–with dimples pa ang mokong–. At that time, hindi lang umiikot ang mundo kina ronald and vicky, someone close to both of them…is already falling inlove with the girl. o diba.. love triangle.. sosyal. unfortunately, nung time yata na nagsabog ng pimples si papa God, gising na gising si Charles, ayun.. salo niya lahat…nabigatan pa ata kaya sobrang pumayat. as in patpatin to the max. Pero para balance, sobrang jologs niya, sobrang makulit, masayahin, gentleman,..in short. mabait. oopsz,,nakalimutan ko pa..matalino nga po pala xa.

Readers, take note that this happened when vicky was 14 years old.
okie.

As a teenager, isa sa mga characteristic na dapat meron ka ay : MAGALING MAGPALUSOT at mEMBER NG IBAT-IBANG ORG para may dahilan na umalis.

Fortunately, Nabiyayaan ng ginintuang tinig sina Vicky at Fel which gave them an oppurtunity to join the choir at the nearby chapel, So hmm…kanta-kanta.. after that lakwatcha kasama ang mga barkada nila.

Laging ganito ang scenario everytime na umuuwi c Vicky galing baguio. Kapag Christmas vacation, kasama din xa ni Fel na nagkukumahog magAyos para lang umAttend ng morning mass. pero ang totoo..pacute lang din xempre.

Sa tuwing malapit na xang umalis or dumating…lahat ng mga barkada nila ay nag-aabalang magsulat ng mga letters para kay Vicky..including Ronald and charles..ang pagkakaiba..saksakan ng ikli ang kay ronald at pagkahaba-haba naman ng letter ni charles.

Although nararamdaman na ni Vicky na may crush na sa kanya si Charles, she ignored it because of the fact that they were friends. Best of friends pa nga halos.

Nagkaalaman lang talaga na crush ni Charles si Vicky nung ibinulong sa kanya ni Fel ang nararamdaman (duh..lalim ng tagalog) ni Charles para kay Vicky. Though shocked dahil naconfirmed niya.. she decided to stay quiet.

—-COLLEGE—-

nalaman ni Charles na Architecture ang kukunin ni Vicky, so ang suitor, kumuha ng Civil Engineering…ansaya diba,,talagang gusto niyang sumakit ang ulo niya…mapasagot lang si Vicky.

VACATION.

Balik valenzuela ulit si Vicky,, 2nd yr. college na xa nun. Saka umamin si Charles sa nararamdaman nya. Vicky explained that it can’t be done. Talagang friends lang ang turing ni Vicky kay Charles.

So si Fafa Charles, malungkot na namn.

ganun talaga,, life goes on.

–AFTER COLLEGE–

VICky graduated from college, she found a job at SM, became an inspector…in short, fulfilled employee na.

Si Charles???

Nagpunta sa malaysia ,, nagwork.

Si Ronald???
Ayun, sa awa ng Diyos, nakapag-asawa na.

Si Fel??
Malapit ng makagrad sa Nursing.

–THE DATE.—

Fel called Vicky at the office, magkita daw sila sa SM Mega Mall. Vicky agreed.

She went there only to be startled at the sight of Charles. Magkahalong inis at tuwa ang naramdaman ng ating girlaloo. Inis dahil sinet-up xa ni fel. Tuwa, coz she saw her long lost friend. Yup. Long lost friend. imagine college pa cya nung huling makita si charles noh!

They both said Hi, they talked to each other, and ordered their meal.

So "blah-blah-blah de camuztahan..chika chka. kamuzta-kamuzta. oh talaga? kelan pa? " dialogues were given, they decided to call it a date.

Haayz..ewan kung ano ang pumasok sa isip ni Vicky, na realize na lang niya na 11pm na, at na sa car pa xa ni Charles.. ahemm…wag mag-isip ng kung ano-ano…dun lang sila sa park na naka-park sa carpark. hee-hee.

ayun, malay ko kung ano ang pinag-usapan nila. pero syempre magugustuhan ba naman nila ang COMPLETE silence?Erase! erase! xyempre di dapat ganun. eh nu pa gagawin nila, di naman sila mag-on diba? eh di kwentuhan lang ng kwentuhan. hanggang sa mapagod.

Silence.

Nagsimula na namn si guy na magsabi ng kanyang I-still-love-you note kay Vicky. Si vicky naman, syempre, naaawa pero talagang friend lang ang turing nya kay Charles.

Ewan kung ano ang naisip ng babae at biglang tinanong si Charles:

"kung nasa isang panaginip ka.. at bibigyan ka ng isang wish..ano ang hihilingin mo? ung 1 wish na mtutupad lang sa dream pero pag nagising ka..back to reality na naman."
matagal bago nakapagsalita si Charles.
Then he said, "Gusto ko maging tayo"
Hindi umimik si Vicky, then she heard Charles say,
"pwede bang humingi ng isang kiss??"

belwildered, dazzled and everything, Vicky, found herself leaning forward. Eh kasi naman ang tagal ni Charles kumilos no! gabi na!

So she leaned, he, Charles, body trembling with anticipation, kissed vicky.

I asked vicky how long was it. she said: they kissed for ten minutes.

Ten minutes!!! aba,, lavapalooza bah ittechh???

after the kiss, syempre pareho silang napahiya. Its almost 12 na. Remember Cinderella? pagpumatak ang 12..back to reality na.

Do you know what did charles say??

"alam mo, kaw pa lang ang nagiging girlfriend ko.. ikaw ang first kiss ko."

yaay!! 27 na kaya si charles! imagine, natagalan niya un?

Inabot sila ng past 1 sa carpark na un…til they decided to go home na..hinatid na lang ni Charles si Vicky sa valenzuela.

Later in the morning, todo ang kilig ni fel sa kwento ni Vicky.

RRRIiiingg..
ok. Vicky picked up the phone. It was Charles. Umamin ang mokong na hindi ito natulog, coz he’s so afraid to be back on reality. Duh.
Inexplain na lang ni Vicky na friends lang tlaga sila. na pinagbigyan lang nya si Charles. Parang, sukli lang nya sa pagpapakahirap sa kanya nung guy. A kiss.

—- year 2001—

Vicky, back to reality. Lost her communication with Charles, bumalik kasi ng malaysia ang lalaki.

year 2001, vicky decided to get married.

She went to valenzuela to give her invitation..

Tantantannan..tantantannan..

Lets skip the wedding ceremony. .

One week after Vicky’s marriage, nalaman na lang nya na nagpakasal na rin si Charles, lahat nagulat, kc walang kilalang gf ung family nung guy.

so Ayun. ang story. end na. now, may tatlong anak na si Vicky, and c Charles, naka-dalawa naman so far.

Hypocrisy

2008-09-13T11:48:00.003+08:00

Why can't we be happy?

Emily Bronte, the author of Wuthering Heights , had described the Victorian England as 'an age of hypocrisy' because people are expected to act different from the words that they have uttered.

Sir Oscar Wilde, the author of 'The Portrait of Dorian Gray" had said the same thing: a true English man will say what he thougtht as acceptable in society, even if the words contradicts their thought or belief.

I cannot help myself from thinking that we have the same system in the Philippines. We call it 'ka-plastikan', 'tupperware', 'two-face' ...and the like. I used to hate it. I used to hate the people who practice it. Oh yes, I dont exclude myself from that. Some situations causes us to be like that. To act different from what we really want to believe. To say something that is different from what we think. We do these things because we want to please other people. We want to be accepted. We are sometimes afraid to take critism. We are afraid to hurt others. There are so many factors that causes us to be 'hypocrite'. Yet, after saving the situation, in the end we are left to suffer because we stood for nothing.

If people keep doing these things then what are we fussing about? Why do we keep on pointing out things and can't accept them as what they made for? Is it because you say to yourself: ' I'm not a hypocrite! I'm always honest!'--if that's what you think, well think again. I daresay, not a person in the world had ever been hundred percent honest. If honesty destroys hypocrisy, well, we would hurt everyone around us!

Remember, we have norms. Almost all of our actions are dictated by societal rules. Now I blame these rules (and thank them for some advantages) for one of the causes of unhappiness.

Geez. I think to much today.

Best Buddy

2008-09-12T12:08:00.002+08:00

7:30pm. Thursday. September.

We were at Starbucks.

I was sitting right next to the window, staring blankly at its glass.

Outside, the rain splashed angrily.

I weighed the right words to say.

“I’ve told you before… if you will court her, let me leave first. At least let the semester end.” I said selfishly. Half-encouraging, half-hurting.

“To tell you frankly, I’m not sure yet. I don’t know if she will like me. I’m complicated.”

I looked straight to his face.

“Oh! Ms. D is fine. She’s pretty, brainy, responsible—not perfect, but will suit you well.” I said truthfully.

He took a sipped at his coffee and hand-combed his hair miserably.

“Geez.. All you have to do is talk to her! Say something! Don’t pretend. Don’t try to please her, just try to be yourself. C’mon!” I urged. What a hypocrite!

I was afraid to let him do the words I’ve uttered, yet I don’t want to see him unhappy. I wanted him to be with someone who could make him smile and remove his grouchiness.

No matter how I want to feel at ease, these thoughts were hard to bear.

I’ve learned to live with his attitude—his strict, sensitive, grouchy yet sweet and well-mannered sides were never a problem with me. I looked up to him and loved him as my best buddy. With him, I can be anyone I want to be—crazy, paranoid, selfish, selfless, wild, timid, and cheerful—someone who argue endlessly with his ideas and philosophies and seek peace with him tirelessly at the end of the day.

We were satisfied with our daily routine of studying at the library, having our coffee at the canteen, looking out for sexy girls and handsome guys, having our daily doze of insults, jokes and praises thrown at each other.

That night however, was neither insult nor joke nor praise. No. It was my pain, fear and greed on my part. Don’t worry though. I’ve managed to control my emotions. I was mature enough to decide to be selfless and honest for my best buddy that night.

“I just wish I have the guts” he said, waking me from my infernal dilemma.

I sighed. He’s not mine. Never have been. It’s enough that he accepted what I was, I should be glad for no guy has ever done that favor to me. I gave in.

“Okay. I’ll do my best to get in touch with her, do anything I can to make her know you. But please….just in case that you decided to work on your plan a few days from now, will you tell me first? so that I shall refrain myself from meeting you. I will hate that, you know. I’ll feel jealous and it won’t help you or she might think that I’m a hindrance to both of you. So please---?” the words were thrown out so fast. I could hardly remember to breathe.

He brightened up. He looked hopeful—cheerful and excited in some sense.

We stared at each other. I smiled whole-heartedly, hastily ignored the pain and took a sip at my frappucino.

Later, we went out of the shop and ran through the rain. It was raining so hard and the street lights were almost gone, these props hid my tears as I got myself drenched.

He took me home and bid me good night.

That was the faith of the best buddy.

And that was the end of my story.

JUNK

2008-08-18T11:53:00.003+08:00

Something is wrong with me---------AGAIN.
I feel awful.
Awful.

I don't know why i'm doing this to myself. My soul is asleep again. I don't know how to wake up. I'm pretty sure that there's nothing wrong 'outside' my world...
I'm obsessed with vampires and werewolves.
I've read too much during my one-week procrastination period.
My sleeping habit changed- night is day, day is night.
Daytime is...um... too slow for me.
Baloney.

WHAT AM I DOING?
I need to wake up! I've been racking my brain for how many days, trying to wake myself up, trying to gather some determination, looking desperately for purpose in life. Something to keep me alive. alive in a sense that I'll do what I'm supposed to do. I should do something RIGHT.

Geez, I'm afraid that I'm turning masochistic by thinking of so many things that one can't exactly categorize as nice. Just last night, I wrote a two-page essay regarding my death. (I can't post it here).

One more thing, I'm being selfish again. Just a while ago, I fought with my best friend, simply because I decided that I'll go somewhere to work on my feasibility study. Nothing is really wrong with that, except that she had offered almost everything--laptop, office, money, in short convenience-- just to make me stay near our house. That's not really a problem. I can work anywhere... but hey, it's a group work,! I'm not the only one deciding, everything was settled before I asked her to allow me to go out today. I guess that's my fault. She even told me that its just me who want go out. That's partly true. Partly. Not all. You know, if I didn't know myself better, I might think my head has some huge space inside--and that space is getting bigger. It's like a fool, indecisive, selfish, no-direction piece of junk was thrown into the earth eighteen years ago to grow physically. Mentally--well that junk stayed as junk. What a mess! I talk too much but I can't make somebody understand my purpose. Non-sense again.

I attract disaster and stress too.

hayyz. (T_T)

insane Me

2008-08-08T23:45:00.002+08:00

Even though I may look selfish most of the times. There's no need to remind me to think for the good of majority and think less of myself. I don't understand why would anyone think I'm such a selfish brat when i've sacrificed a lot of my personal wants. I cannot do what I want because I was trained to follow orders. Not make them. From what to eat, what to wear, what to do, what not to do. I'm following orders., Now i'm having problems on working thing on my own. PEople say: set Priorities. Heck, I would like to know who's priorities should I rank first. Mine or others? why is it that people misinterprets my intentions? Facial Expressions? Patience. Patience. I need to pause and think. Guard my emotions. I'm getting dumber and dumber each day. I feel like i'm starting to be schizophrenic.

Start the week right:

2008-08-04T21:23:00.002+08:00

Start the week right:

1. Have a good ....lOooong sleep on Sunday night.

2. Reflect on what you've done during weekdays. Check out mistakes but don't blame yourself too much.

3. Have a mindset that you will correct those mistakes starting Monday morning.

4. Start Monday by waking earlier than you used to do.

5. Love yourself and be grateful for what you have.

6. Appreciate the people around you---even those who look like a toad.

7. About your diet, think this way: 'I'm actually pretty and sexy, I just need a lot of exercise.'

Magulong Kwento

2008-07-23T14:12:00.002+08:00

TAGALOG tayo.

Puro??-- oo ba, sa abot ng makakaya ko.

UNA.
Maligayang pagbati kay Snobero23 (eeek...ampanget pakingan. tangalong na tagalog!)
Wala lang, natuwa kasi ako sa isinulat nya sa blog nya. "Monthsary" daw kasi nila ni SportsCarl--ang dakilang diary nya. ( ano nga ba tagalog ng monthsary?) Hindi ko kasi inaasahan na pwede pa lang ipagdiwang ang pagsusulat. Naks. ala lang, bago lang sakin yon. ni hindi ko nga binibilang kung ilang beses na akong nag-aksaya ng mahiwagang pahina sa mundo ng blogging eh. Heto, regalo ko kay snobero, ire-refer ko na lang kayo. Puntahan nyo ha?-- http://snober023.wordpress.com

PANGALAWA.

Magulo na naman ang utak ko.

Hindi ko maintindihan kung magulo dahil wala akong maisip na matino o magulo dahil maraming pumapasok sa isip ko. Aba! iba na 'toh! Saklolo...! teka, ganito kasi yan, nagsimula na ang prelim exams namin. Natuturete ako dahil medyo may probelma ang feasibility study namin nina sonbae at joey. Idagdag pa ang kagustuhan kong may magawa ng maayos sa OJT ko. At kung minsan, pagsinuswerte ka talaga ng pabaliktad... nagpaiwan ka na nga para igugol ang isang buong araw ng lingo para magtiis na kumain ng binating itlog (habang alam mo na ang mga kapamilya mo kumakain sa japanese resto,) susundan mo ng paglilinis ng kwarto at CR at buong maghapong pag-aaral ng StratMan para lang sabihin sayo kinabukasan ng prof mo na---sorry, walang exam. Chata. Kainis. Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ako dahil sa wakas...pwede pang-i-extend O mapapraning ako dahil baka mawala na naman sa utak ko ang lahat ng inaral ko. Nakipag-debate ang presidente ng klase namin. Heto ang mga litanya: (oy, buod na lang to ha!)

Lara Olaes: sayang yung araw, dapat mag-exam na dahil unfair naman sa mga nakapag-aral.
Prof: Mabait na ako, di gaya ng dati.. terror ako... kaya sige sa susunod na lunes na lang ang exam. (***Duh! kuneksyon non sir?!***)

Ayaw pumayag ni Lara. Sa isip-isip ko, may punto sya. Nagngingitngit nga ako eh, binubugbog ko na nga yung braso ni Lee sa inis. Buti na lang, may sumagot, si Prado.

Michelle Prado: May OJT kasi kami, kaya walang oras mag-aral. (**tsk. tsk. tama din.)

Lara Olaes: Bakit? working student din naman kami ah! Pero ba't nakaya naming i-handle ang mga responsibilities namin!?

Halos ganyan ang mga sinabi nila. hindi eksakto ang pagkakalahad ko pero yan ang punto. Nakakainis. Kasalanan naman talaga yun ng prof. Halata naman na hindi sya handa para mag-bigay ng test. Nagdala pa ng booklet. C'mon!

O xa, tama na nga muna ang pagngingitngit. Masaya na ako dahil nakapagsulat na naman ako.
Magkaiba man at magulo ang pagkakalahad... wala lang... at least dumaldal ako. Beh!

dilemma

2008-07-19T17:24:00.002+08:00

What if for some unexplained reason, somebody--someone have told you to go and ask a guy.
Sonbae has been bugging me about this for a million times: Go and ask Mr. Right.
I've been thinking about it since last night.

Am I going to give in to the idea? I'm already 18. I think my guardians can allow me. I can't decide yet. Aww. Its dillemma, I don't know if its right. I can't handle too much responsibilities now. I have a job, I need to study, (Oh, yah..it's my prelims on monday!) and.... I'm afraid to loose the only time I have for my family and friends.

And I can't find the right guy. That's the prob. No right to choose.

BESTFRIENDS

2008-07-18T06:30:00.003+08:00

Despite the gloomy atmosphere because of the bad weather, sonbae and I still managed to find something to amuse us. We received some blessings yesterday. Sonbae saw his two crush Danica, and Yuuka (I really like this girl!) We we're in the library when sonbae saw yuuka.. she's wearing her college uniform.. gosh! she's so pretty. I told sonbae about how i admire her and he raised an eyebrow and said: are you lesbian? I wonder where you really belong, not girl. not guy.haayzz. Hmmp! i'm definitely not a lesbian. How could a lesbian likes so many guys, huh?

Anyway, seeing his girls really cheered him up! I told him I also want to see my two mr. right (that's what I call my crush, ---though most of the time their really mr. Wrong) I don't know exactly what happened but I think God heard me. Sonbae told me that mr. Right's coming. I thought he was joking until Chris' came and sat beside sonbae--right in front of me.

We are in a great mood that we didn't worry much about the quiz in HRM. I was really comfortable with sonbae: talking to him, condfiding some of my musings in life, some of my complaints and rants...telling him who are on my top five lists of cute guys--and girls., how much I miss joshua oppa.. how I want to be free and travel somewhere else, how I'm glad to be his hubae.

It's like having back joshua oppa again...

.... like I'm having my best friend back. When oppa was still with me, I was enthusiastic about taking my subjects seriously.. even my least favorite--mathematics. When he was gone, I hate to admit the fact that I've been so down. Part of me was shouting: "I WISH YOU COULD STAY" also, part of me says: You don't have the right to ask. I wasn't in love. I didn't fall. I just cared so much and attached myself. I was careless about my feelings. I wish I've been reserved. He was my mentor, my friend, my kuya--my oppa. No. I didn't fall.

Speaking of joshua oppa, sonbae told me that I should have courted him instead of regretting. Yep. I. court. Oppa. CRAZY!! That's the craziest thing I've heard. It mortified me. Why would a girl court a guy? No matter how much vocal I am with my feelings towards the opposite sex, I would never ever do that. i still have my head on. To sonbae however, that thing simply exist like the world was made that way. girls court guys. Haayzz.

Back to sonbae, I was really grateful last night because he (reluctantly?!--not sure) walked me home. I didn't have an umbrella... I asked him if he could simply take me to 7/11... he was complaining of how stupid i am not to bring an umbrella... he said I should always bring one because acid rain's very dangerous and he doesn't want me to get weak (actually, he used the word "lame" instead of "weak")... yup, he complained a lot but still... i was surprised when he took me home. I said: 7/11 not home. He said I should treat him to starbucks, of course I won't do that so I offered to buy him a drink but he refused and said: "best friends don't pay each other". WOW!!! That-is-sooo-sweet-of him!

Promise, I'll be kind and good hubae. I'll just let him nag me for some days... I won't retort. (^_^)

Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Shit List

2008-07-16T12:56:00.003+08:00

MGa bagay sa EBAK WORD:
ewan kung san nya nakuha yan, basta natuwa ako sa post nya:

Taoism: Shit happens.Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens.
"Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism: God made all shit.
Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
Darwinism: This shit was once food.
Capitalism: That's MY shit.
Communism: It's everybody's shit.Feminism: Men are shit.
Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock<>

galing sa: http://thejaywalker.com/pages/shit_happens.htm

Tama o Maling Kantyaw?

2008-07-16T12:21:00.005+08:00

Goodness! Nakagawa ako ng isang pagkakamali.
Pakiramdam ko, isusuka ako ni Prof. Allan Rodrigues sa Business Ethics.
Parang noong isang araw lang nakikipagdebate ako sa professor ko kung pano irereconcile and Personal Moral sa Business Moral. Heto na. ako naman ang nasalang sa sitwasyon kung saan nagtutungali ang mismong topic na ipinaglalaban ko.

Ilang minuto bago ang alas-dose.

Napilitan akong bumalik sa opisina dahil babayaran ko ang supplier namin. Mahigit 100K--cash.
O sige, dukot ng pera sa drawer. Inilabas ang brown envelope. Iniabot. Nakangiting nagsabi ng: pakibilang. Nagbilang. Tumpak. Sakto sa dapat bayaran. Pumirma sa Voucher.

Napatingin ako sa orasan, ewan at kung anong katangahan ang pumasok sa isip ko at naibulalas ko ang mga katagang: Sir, lunch na, ano kain na tayo?. Pucha! Pasenxa, napapamura talaga ako. Eh pano ba naman, ngumiti yung tao, sabay ibinulsa ang pera, at nags-iwan ng apat na tig-lilimang daan. SHit. huli na bago ko naisip kung ano ang naging aksyon nya. Ibinabalik ko ang pera, pero ang mga ka-officemates ko.. idinaan sa parinig at kantyaw. Ayun, natuluyan na.

Ano ba ang tawag dun? Padulas? Suhol? Tamang Libre? O tamang nakantyawan lang?!
Sabi ng mga officemates ko, tama lang daw dahil nagbibiro lang ako, di ko naman daw pinuwersa yung tao. Walang Blackmail o Walang Threats. Yung tao ang bumigay.

Naku!!! sir Rodrigues.. tama yung sabi mo, darating at darating talaga sa buhay ng tao na kelangan mong mamili kung ipapaapak mo ba ang sarili mongvalues sa ilang sitwasyon.

Hayyyzz.. ambigat sa dibdib. Pasensya talaga ha.?? Pakiramdam ko nga hindi ko makakain yung mga pagkain na inorder ng mga officemates ko. Hayyyy..

Onard's flock of Friends.

2008-07-15T09:56:00.003+08:00

I used to rant about the ways of Onard's friends. Ok, for never-ending introduction about Onard, I will re-introduce him. Onard, WASn't and ISn't my friend. He used to bully me for some reasons. He's like a big Bear lost in Lyceum. I used to hate him and his friends because they cheat on exams, quizzes and other stuff that has something to do with studying. They would rather hang out at 168 mall and get drunk at Beer Garden rather than go to school and listen to the profs.

I used to hate them for this. I view their action as proof of immaturity. I am immature but not when it comes studies. Aside from this, they act like the hollywood's fashion critics. **s.

BUT NOW.

I am proud of them. Specially to Kristel. They have change. They no longer roam around, instead they study and everytime i look at them in the classroom, I can see how they try to listen and comprehend with the prof's lectures. Sure they are still fashionistaz, I admire them for that. Kristel worked so hard for the classroom presentations and reports. I truly admire them for that.

What a Waste!

2008-07-15T08:45:00.002+08:00

I hate myself for wanting everybody to be happy. Why do I have to exert effort on cheering up joey and sonbae's mood?! I hate it when i do something that makes me feel good and end up being rejected.
Sonbae was sick yesterday, he tried to carry on things as usual.. but i still got worried because he looked so pale last night. When I got home, I thought it would cheer him up if I'll search for the name and pic of his crush, an actress who happened to be our schoolmate. He replied via email and it seems he wasn't happy about it. he said something like i wasted my effort on useless things! C'mon! he's the one bugging me for the number of that girl! What a waste. I will never. Ever. Bother. Hmmmph!! He's so moody. I did that because i was just worried! so dumb!

DO SOMETHING PLEASE.

2008-07-14T06:56:00.003+08:00

Weee... I must be insane.
I feel sooOOoooo tired.
Seriously, I'm starting to hate the subject : Feasibility Study.

It's eating me alive!

Goodness, I used to look like a pig, but now, I resemble a vampire or a zombie.
I've these eye bags as large as my glasses. (*okay, that's exaggerating)
I no longer eat well. (*Y can't I be sexier now?)
I no longer sleep. (*ok, I sleep for two hours)

i need MOTIVATION.
KNOCK ME OFF MY FEET.

Shame on Me.

2008-07-12T11:27:00.002+08:00

Fourth year. Barely half a year before i'll graduate. few months away from congratulation day. Am i that lucky? moreover, am i fully equipped? As i sit and ponder about what would happen to my life, i get this uneasy feeling. I think i'm not yet ready. I don't think i've learned much, shame on me. Four years at Lyceum is not enough. I blame myself for this. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not the easy-go-lucky student. I don't study and review notes everyday, I hate that. I hate reading text books, autobiographies and some boring stuff. I love reading, but i only go for fiction and classic ones. I hate announced quizzes, but i love surprised quiz. I love recitation, I hate computations. Now ask me, did I do well at school? nAh. I seem to appear good in front of my classmates merely because i can answer prompt questions and seem to get the right answer. I hate cheating. I definitely disagree with this practice. better get zero that cheat. Here I go again, ranting. Sorry. I just want to feel good, unfortunately.. ranting makes me feel better.

Snobz can fall too.

2008-07-09T11:32:00.004+08:00

hay, katatapos ko lang maglibot sa net. (parang galing lang sa Mall noh??)
Nainlove naman ako sa post ni snobbero. Ang ganda ng pagkakasulat, to think na guy pa ang author. Well it seems, snobz can ALSO fall in love. He narrated his regrets of letting go of his girl.. hayyz.. why is it that everybody's ready to fall in love? Sonbae is eyeing for a cute girl, snobbero wants his girl back, joelyn is almost ready to say 'yes' to Beckbeck.. but..what about me?

I envy them. (-_-)zZ. BUT. BUT. BUT. I don't want to hurry. Baka masaktan lang ako. Or. Baka di pa ako ready.

O sige na nga, eto na lang ang iisipin ko:
Love isn't a trend like fashion. Teka. *May sense ba yung sinabi ko??
Love comes at the right time. *kelan naman kaya?
Love can wait. **meaning, aral muna.**

PEro minsan, sa pagiisip ko ng kung anu-ano, I think Im happy naman. I can do what I want withut someone nagging...I can approach any guys, without them knowing na crush ko na pala sila. (^_~) PERO, may mga downfall din naman ang pagiging luv less: it sucks to watch movies alone, nobody cares about what you do, nobody will show you how wonderful it is to be with someone. Yun eh, kung siswertihin ka na matino ang mainlove sayo.

Ok, Too much na toh, i shall wait for the right time to have one. Love isn't a trend. Moreover, It isn't a fad either.

Wrong Bus.

2008-07-09T08:07:00.002+08:00

Last night was exhausting but good experience. I was supposed to meet my mom at coastal mall so that i could bid her goodbye since she's going back to Austria. Right after my class, I dropped by at my aunt's place to leave some of my stuff then I immediately headed off. While I was on the bus I was txting Sonbae to keep my thoughts away from my worries. Nay Sally and I barely had five minutes for our goodbyes.

After meeting her, I was off again for home. I rode on the bus and....... 10 mins. later, I found out that I took the wrong one. That was exhausting not to mention, expensive. I walked for about 15 minutes before I took my second, and right bus. Haayzz.. I arrived home at exactly 9:30pm. Geez, what a fool. Next time, i'll be more careful.

First Night Somewhere. Feasib blues.

2008-07-05T23:16:00.003+08:00

o, teka, baka kung anong klaseng first night ang maisip mo ha?
Iba yan, ibang klaseng experience--at least para sa sarili ko.
After 18 years and seven months, I was finally allowed to spend sometime--a little bit of time-- away from our home. Ang OA ko naman. Medjo, kiber ko. Basta! Last night, jeff, joey and i went to Jung joo sonbae's ("senior jung joo") flat to work on our feasibility study. Gosh! we must pass chapter one on monday. We were really really really worried about what should we do given the fact that we dont have the right topic for us. Actually, we proposed construction since we've a lot of resources and background about it. Unfortunately, the dean of college of business administration who happens to be our professor in feasibility study...rejected the idea. waeyo? he said it won't fit with these criteria : INNOVATIVE. CREATIVE. INDIGENOUS. arraseo! arraseo! It left us no choice but to change the topic. Ayyzz... what should we do? above all... What should i do? My life is becoming more and more complicated. I work in the morning and study in the afternoon. I'm really having a hard time balancing my work and studies. I can no longer review my notes! Yesterday we had a quiz on International trade and management info system. too bad for me, i didn't review 'coz for one thing there was so much work in the office, so many things to research for feasib and so and so and so. Ayyyyzzzz... I'm about to die! (OA na naman. sige palitan.) AAaaayyyyzzz.. I'm about to faint!(T_T)

Back to sonbae's flat. We were amazed how fast we did we finish our chapter one. We even had time to eat donuts. I saw the other side of sonbae, cool as he is at school, at home, he's different... like he's really 26 years old. (well he is 26, its just that i don't see him like that). He even gave us newspapers to keep the donut crumbles off the floor. What a guy!
Anyway.. I was embarrassed because my aunt and uncle fetch me around 11pm... sonbae asked me how come they're like that...why i was so protected... hmmm (*shrug*) thats ok. tama na muna ang mapahiya, it's for my sake naman eh. however, i forgot to thank my uncle. He's such a nice guy. Dito ko na nga lang sabihin, di naman nagba-blog yun eh. (CLE, Thanks ha! love yah!) (*_*)

Daing ng isang nilalang.

2008-06-24T12:21:00.002+08:00

Hay, ano ba!
Bagyo.
Araw.
Bagyo.
Araw.
Ambon.
Araw.
Init.
Ulan.
Sobra.

LINTIK! Ano bang nangyayari sa mundo? Tumataas ang level ng tubig sa mga ilog, baha dito, baha doon. Umuulan pero sobrang init. Presyo ng gas, pagkain, tsokolate ko, toothpaste, shampoo at kung ano pang gamit sa mundo, lahat 1 1/4 na ata ng presyo ang itinaas. Hay.
Ano bang nangyayari?? **Its not the end of the world** pero pakiramdam ko, malapit na. Sa tuwing iisipin ko kung ano ang nagiging epekto ng mga bagay na pinaglilikha ng tao (kabilang na ako)...hay, sumasakit ang ulo ko. Anong aksyon ang pwedeng gawin? magtanim, mag-aral, magpakadalubhasa at pagkatapos ,..ano? Andaming tanong, nakaka-bwisit. sobra.

Snobbero

2008-06-24T12:18:00.002+08:00

Such a name. Snob. FYI hindi ako yan, carl ata ang name nya, bumisita sa blog ko at nag-iwan ng link. In fairness, ang galing nyang magsulat. Simply proves na madami pa ring pinoy na mahilig pumutak at magaksaya ng invisible ink sa webworld. Naks.

**__saludo_kay _snobbero__**

bow.

First Day_Fourth Year

2008-06-17T08:09:00.002+08:00

Im glad to be back at school! Seeing familiar faces (whether you like them or not!) and greeting old friends and profs made my day exhausting but complete. I was up around 5am to fix my things, clean my room and eat my breakfast, by 7:30 I went upstairs and open the office.

I have spent half of my day calling different job sites, asking for the ordered construction materials, writting purchase orders and faxing them to the suppliers. It was a busy day. There came my boss, his presence was enough to make me feel nervous at work. geez, being his neice can't even make me feel at ease!

Anyway, by 12:30 I went to the school library and waited for jung joo. We agreed to meet there because i forgot the the number of our classroom and i didn't have the enrollment assessment form where room schedules were written. That's so lame i know. It pissed me off because i can't find my classmates!!! By the time that i remembered that there was a schedule posted at the CBA Bulletin, Eden came and told me the room number. Its odd 'coz she's not my classmate. (yah, i was pretty ashamed of myself for this.)

I went to room 327 and saw my classmates, met my prof, he happened to be the dean of our college. Inside the classroom, the aircon wasn't working well, it was so hot and everybody was irritated by this, it seems that our prof can't even breathe!!! I spent the rest or the day chatting with jung joo, guessing who's gonna be the next prof, hoping that it won't be ms. David.

i've realized that we did change a lot. We were no longer the ickle firsties who play a lot. it's like we automatically know what we're doing, and what we're suppose to do.

Upsided house

2008-05-31T11:19:00.002+08:00

Is this the new trend in architecture?-an upside-down house?. Check it out in poland.

Breaking-up

2008-05-30T08:47:00.002+08:00

When somebody break someone else's heart, the one who left earlier will also be the one to look back after some time. Wondering what happened, the party who run-away from the relationship will check the life of the other who was left behind. Any sign of improvement will become a flying dagger. It could be the pride that hurts. Unwelcomed emotions will cramble with the oppressor's heart. Yes, it could be pride that hurts. Unexpected realization that the one who left earlier is the one who was finally left behind because of the fact that he can't move on.

my soju.

2008-05-29T10:57:00.002+08:00

Hi. Just dropping by to share this wonderful site to those who love watching asian dramas and movies.

MY SOJU.com

it's a very good site.. i'm currently watching "absolute boyfriend" . It's very funny. you ought to try!

fourth year with onard

2008-05-24T12:46:00.007+08:00

I've been away for a while. It's not because i'm busy or something... I was just lost for words and doesn't know what to talk about... I got tired of blabbering about how my life sucks. yeah i know i've been telling myself that i shouldn't complain..sorry but i can't help it.. I wish i'm at school. I miss my friends: Joey, Eden, Jung Joo oppa and joshua Oppa..

My fourth year in Lyceum should be worthy. I must study hard, study in a way that essential things must remain intact in my brains. i hope I won't knock myself out since i'm gonna work too. I want to be ready for the subsequent stage of my life. i'm afraid. I feel like i'm living in unrealistic world--too simple. No worries. No effort.

TODAY'S CONFESSION:

You know, I just remembered Onard. He's my classmate who have a great taste for humiliating people in front of others--especially me. He takes pride out of making fun of anything ordinary, anything different to him, and anything above him.

Don't be mistaken. Let me clear things with you. I'm not angry with Onard. In fact if there is one person aside from my friends that I would like to understand and give respect to.. It's him. It's true that he had given me a lot of headaches and not to mention stress but somehow I can sense that he's got a soft heart concealed in that monstrous face of her. HEr. Yep. you read it. HER not HIM. Apparently he's a gay.
I don't understand myself, but I don't hate her much. Ok. I hate the way he bullies me but I don't really hate him to the point that I want him gone. Not that. I've given up years ago on thinking how to be bad to her.

Now that another school year is yet to come, I think of her and search myself if I'm still the sixteen year old second year who tremble at the mere sight of him, who stammer at the tiniest sign of humiliation, who despise being called "juday"--a round-face fat actress that I don't really like,. Am I? Am I still her?
Am I still a coward who cannot fight her own fear?!

I used to ask a lot of questions, why do i have this and why don't I have that. No. I've change, I have realized my weaknesses. I have tried to improve myself. I have found my solitude among my friends.

Thanks to God. Thanks to my family, my friends and some people who are precious to me. Thanks to you.I am no longer that girl. Two years is enough for me to overcome my fears. To overcome Onard. I used to think that i fear Onard but I was wrong. Onard creates my fear but that doesn't mean he is Fear. I'm glad I've realized that.

Now I can move on and wait for a year before another stage of life awaits me. Now I can leave my pains and fears behind. I can live my grudge about Onard.

I'm ready to open up my heart and my mind for other emotions.

this is how i love my Tclaire and Nay' Sally

2008-05-10T17:29:00.002+08:00

tHIS IS HOW I LOVE MY SIS:

2008-05-08T13:13:00.002+08:00

THIS IS HOW I LOVE MY DAD (PART 2)

2008-05-05T10:21:00.003+08:00

Ok--THIS IS A BACKPOST.

May 2-- it's a double birthday for my dad and uncle.

My dad is too far and there isn't a way to contact him so I just sent him an email and attached a
the animation that i've made (i hope it worked). im not sure if he got it though. Well he called my uncle to say his greetings but i wasn't able to talk to him personally.. so I'm kinda sad about it. But anyway, I wish he celebrated his day jovially. Ummm...

Hate list

2008-05-02T21:49:00.003+08:00

Things I hate:

Keep on telling yourself that "Life is Simple" while making things a little bit more complicated.
Keep on saying "I am the world's ugliest wart" while acting like you're everybody's friend.
Storing a 300 page of list everyday on your brain about the things that you should and should not do and forgetting everything once you fell asleep.
Saying "I don't like that guy" while keeping him as a friend.

This is HOW I LOVE MY DAD:

2008-05-02T10:28:00.003+08:00

a little bit of rain

2008-04-29T08:50:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, It was so darn hot outside that I longed to eat an ice cream--right after my wushu practice. Unfortunately, my plan of dropping by at McDonald's to have an ice cream with my two cousins--cassy and clarisse, was postponed because it rained so hard!!!! It rained for about thirty minutes and by the time that it barely stopped there's no choice for us but to fight our way out of the street--and forget about ice cream.
No matter how unfortunate i was, I was glad because summer's heat died down a little. That's what i love with rain.

vers.4-Life is simple

2008-04-19T20:02:00.002+08:00

Yeepiiii..
This is Pintasera skin version 4.
as simple as it may seem to read. I know reality shows that life isn't that simple. I'm just trying to make it---my life---look simple 'coz I wanna motivate myself. Yeah, life sucks here in the offiz, i'm bored to death but hey! I'm not giving up!

That's the wisdom for today. Gotta go!!

I don't understand.

2008-04-15T18:04:00.002+08:00

I feel so...gloomy today. (T_T)

I know I'm too young. or maybe being 18 y.o. isn't enough. How come my actions doesn't jive with my age. Am i that immature? I know what I should do. It's just that I don't know if I will like it. I know what's right. But I don't know if it will feel just right.

I'm fervent with change. I know I should change my attitude and views with life. Everything I need is in front of me. It's like a bowl of fruit in front of me. There's too much too take and I'm confused which one to eat first.

I wonder if there's a book that says everything about finding a person's real passion. Maybe there is but I don't have one yet.

Glad to SEe you're Okay..

2008-04-13T10:38:00.004+08:00

Natutuwa ako.

(^_^)

see?

Nabasa ko ang blog ni Dudz. I felt good reading it. Iwas juz checking what's with him... may girl na xa...he calls her " my silent companion" I thought i would feel jealous or whatsoever... I thought malulungkot ako.. pero hindi naman ganon ang na-feel ko. on the contrary, natuwa ako sa blog nya, for one thing nagsusulat na rin xa ...i mean nagba-blog na din xa.

Oh yeah, I forgot, you don't know Dudz. He's my ex. A year ago, I was insane. March yata yon. The relationship didn't last long.. three weeks lang ata.. I can't remember much. I wasn't wild pero naging suwail ako sa family ko. ummm...tama bang mag-confess? (PAPA if you're reading this, I hope you'll think that this is just a story. HAHA)

Yeah. i'm considering him as my first bf out of my insanity. It was fun but it wasn't the right time for us. One year na din yon pero I'm glad kasi marami ng nagbago samin. Now i know what's right. and.. this is right. (^_^)

not. too. bz.

2008-04-03T11:33:00.002+08:00

i feel different today. very different indeed. you know, i'm starting to like my life. i'm starting to accept my situation. i'm starting to let go of my worries. I just hope that this will last longer. i tend to forget my plans because i'm easily distracted by my emotions...
anyway, i gotta go.. must have lunch first! i'll be back later.

Summer Na!

2008-03-28T12:52:00.002+08:00

Bored. I cannot enroll for summer class because the subjects that I'm suppose to take are not offered. I have a feeling that this summer will be very very very boring--unless fairy godmother will come and make my life exciting. For a change, I want to find a job...

anyway, since I'm kinda nuts today, I made the above pic for my cousins...yep..they're my cousins.. they're really cute and lovely. aw.aw. (^_^) I'm about to spend my whole summer with them 'coz their nanny took a vacation. In short, I'm gonna be their yaya for 2 months. Haay... How bad can it be? (T_T)zZ *sigggghhh*

so..so..

2008-03-15T15:55:00.003+08:00

not. so. glad. today.

This morning, I received a message from oppa that he won't come with us on tuesday night. Joey, Jung joo, Eden and I are planning to go to Music21 juz to have some fun. I was looking forward to it, very excited, coz it'll be my first time to go out (with my guardian's permission of course).

Now I'm having second thoughts if I will enjoy. Its just sad that oppa can't come. It's like we're throwing a farewell party for him since he will soon graduate. sadly, he doesn't want to. kj. hmf.

A day at Baluarte

2008-03-10T18:17:00.002+08:00

Okay, enough of feeling down, time to feel other emotions that's existing in this world. Such as? I ought to release the pain and worries for future, I should let go of what I feel for the present, just let me go back in the past...not to much though. I might be stuck with the happy memories...hmm.. maybe this pic shall describe it all:

----

2008-03-10T18:03:00.002+08:00

Today, I finally saw a close friend that I have not seen for almost two weeks. I met him at the cashier, saw him come to class, and noticed how he has change for two weeks. His face is thin, his body tires easily, and his eyes looks different. I asked how he was, why he's sick, what's his illness. I got my answer and I wasn't glad to find out.

How could a wonderful person suffer from such illness. How could he be the one to catch it, he who studies a lot, knows how to respect others, loves to talk and cheer people, and above all, he who loves HIM alot suffered and still suffering from pain. Ahh... I wish I could tell him that his friends are really worried. I don't even know how to comfort him. All I can do is lend him notes so he can catch up for our final exams.

Let me go back..once more.

2008-03-05T22:12:00.006+08:00

I wonder what will happen tomorrow.

I feel so tired and yet I can't sleep. This afternoon, I went to Sta. Cruz and visited master Mei Cheng. I felt so down because I realised that I no longer have time to practice wushu. I miss my kuyas and ate... I miss doing the split...running... jogging... doing the spider bend.. nan quan..and other stuff. Hay. Life has really changed. I wanna go back and practice more but I don't have a choice but to wait for summer vacation...!

I changed a lot. Jeong Joo told me that I'm starting to notice boys....*huh, as if he's not included on my crush list!* ---I think he's right. I think my second sem in 3rd year college is more focus on my social life. I have spent most of my time thinking about my oppas (Jeong joo, Chris, joshua) plus joelyn and eden... I have spent most of my days critisizing people while trying so hard to be perfect. In the end i gave up my pretentious acts and returned to my old self. That's what made me more happy....

pizza values

2008-03-04T20:15:00.002+08:00

I don't know why I suddenly craved for pizza. I was having lunch with Jeong Joo oppa, Joeylyn and Eden when I suddenly cried: "I WANT PIZZA!!!!"

Jeong Joo asked me if I would really like to eat pizza we could go out and have it at SM, so.. that's it. I even asked my guardian (brought Jeong Joo and Eden in the office) if she will allow me to go. Hmmm... it was actually the first time that she said YES about going out with some friends...maybe just for a change...or maybe she just re-payed me for behaving well.

*Tut.* Tut.* Long Pause.*

My friends were really shocked to find out that I still have curfew (right after class hours) and my phone has a WI locator. They were shocked that my guardians are so strict, so paranoid at times, and most of all, they were so shocked that I can't go anywhere I want to. They can't believe that my class schedules (with room numbers) are being monitored.They even joked that they will stick with me and guard me well because my guardians would kill them if something happens to me.

okay. okay. enough of these embarrassing facts.

Let me tell you this: I do have very strict guardians. They're nuts with time, rule-breaking blues, excuses and other stuff that jives with discipline. ***warning: I'm not a well discipline human--really.** However, as I spent half of my life with them, I got accustomed to their rules and adopted their views no matter how old fashioned it may seem. People might laugh when they'll hear (**in your case: read**) this, but i can always say that I'm thankful to them 'coz I've learned to be conscious with my acts--above all, i have learned to value their trust. I've learned to value a very little amount of freedom that they're giving me while being conscious about not being abusive. So that's it. That's what I've learned today from a pizza treat.

GOOD THINGS TODAY:

1. I was relieved to find out that Joshua oppa's resting. I terribly miss him! I hope he'll get well soon. (he's sick. He's been absent for 1 week)

2. Mr. Sigue smiled.talked.waved.smiled again--at me. hmf. sige na nga, pati na kina Eden at Jeong joo!

3. I have satisfied my craving for pizza.

4. I ate a lot again.

TOO LATE FOR A VALENTINE TREAT

2008-02-27T08:35:00.003+08:00

I know it's too late to TALK about valentine coz march is just two days away. hmm.
Talking about valentine considering that i'm an NBSB ('no-boyfriend-since-birth') sounds quite ridiculous. I can't even tell you what's the best gift for valentine. All i know is that valentine is red.
For me, hmm... it was a black valentine. let me repeat 'black valentine'... let me borrow that line from the shampoo commercial: 'Clear Black Valentine'. Litterally, I did wear black blouse on valentines day. I did use black shoes and black bag. That's why my professor said,"did somebody die? it's valentines day, why are you wearing black?" and my answer?---"black is for single" HAH.

Finally...a young lady.---echhhhh!!!

2008-01-04T23:57:00.000+08:00

Unleash the CUTENESS within..hahahah

2008-01-04T23:53:00.000+08:00

New Year

2008-01-04T18:29:00.000+08:00

So, it's new year. What's yah resolution 'eh??

Oh. Since you can't answer, I'll begin by telling you mine. I'm not exempted yet..hee-hee.

#1-FORGET. There are things that I want to leave behind as the year changes it's leaves. Let the leaves fall. Let the pain and unwanted emotions go. Set them free. They say sufferings makes people stronger...I guess I can't complain. Throw out the rotten memories and treasure the good ones. Let me count them...1...2....5....7....24....ahhhhh!!! so many... Can't choose which one is the best..so let me treasure them all.

#2 CHANGE. Hmm.. I'm very conscious with this one. Last semester someone told me that I should change because she doesn't like the way I sit, eat, dress, stand, even talk. ermmm...how come? i don't know either. I felt uncomfortable and stressed for thinking too much about it. However, I gave up and soon realized that I shouldn't care about such stuff. In the first place, we've never been friends. I realized that it's normal for people to hate others. It's normal to critisize others. Yah right...but i'm tellin you now: I HATE THE FEELING. We all know that people change... but I just hope it's for good. Why would I change for someone that would only make me feel uncomfortable when I can just be myself?

Divisoria

2007-12-15T19:21:00.000+08:00

Para maging isang Manilenyo, hindi sapat na nakatira ka lang sa Maynila. kung totoong Manilenyo ka dapat alam mo ang DIVISORIA.

Ah, oo narinig mo na nga pala ang tungkol sa lugar na yan. Kaya marahil alam mo na ito ang bagsakan ng mga pinakamurang paninda, mapa-gawang pinoy, tsinoy, o mangilan-ngilang hapon at koreano. Sa kalidad ng produkto? Medyo mahirap sumagot. Sa palagay ko kasi, ayos naman ang mga paninda nila, depende kung marunong kang pumili at kung pano mo gamitin ang binili mo. Sa panahon ngayon, halos wala ng pagkakaiba ang orihinal na pantalon ng Levis sa mga ibinibentang "Lives" sa divisoria. Isa pa, iba na ang mga mamimili ngayon. Dati, ang mga tao walang pakialam kung gaano kamahal ang isang produkto basta ditatak. Subalit ngayon, halos ikutin muna nila ang lahat ng tindahan para sa isa o dalawang produkto lang.

Mabalik tayo sa divisoria. Galing ako kanina doon, at pinagsisihan ko kung bakit napadpad pa ako sa nasabing lugar. Aba naman! Isang kanto ang layo ng binabaan ko--tapat ng binondo church-- bago ako nakaratin sa 168Mall. Sulit kung sulit ang perang hawak mo. Pero bago ka makabili, kailangan mo munang makipagsiksikan braso-sa-braso, sa mga tao. Buti kung lahat eh bagong paligo, swerte mo na kapag nakalanghap ka ng SARIWAng hangin. Tse!

Kanina, dahil limitado lang ang oras ko, napilitan akong mamili ng dadaanan: sa malilim na lugar na maraming tao o sa gitna ng kalsada katabi ng mga sasakyang halos hindi umuusad. Walang choice, pinili ko ang huli. Kailangan eh. Katanghaliang tapat, tirik na tirik ang araw, pinili kong makipagsiksikan-sa mga sasakyan. Doon ko napag-isipisip kung gano kahalaga sa akin ang kakaunting espasyo na naghihiwalay sa mga sasakyan. Mas minabuti ko nang tiisin ang init na ibinubuga ng mga pampasaherong jip kesa naman mamatay ako sa mga baktol ng mga taong pawising gaya ko. HAY.

Ang hirap. Pakunswelo? naibili ko ng regalo ang mga kaklase ko at lahat ng mga library assistang ng lyceum sa napakamurang halaga. Ika nga, sulit na rin ang pagod ko.

2007-12-13T20:06:00.001+08:00

Korea is open for Adoption

2007-12-10T23:59:00.000+08:00

ayt!! It's Joo Ji-Hoon!! so gwapo...eh?
Don't worry, it's not his baby, this pic was taken from POPSEOUL an entertainment blog.

And here's Yoon Eun-Hye... still pretty even with a baby..
Hmm... what's this all about??

Hmm..i guess u should visit popSeoul for more details, time to exercise your fingers..juz a little bit! hehe.. here's the site: POPSEOUL
ryt..so bye for now.. really.. both joo ji-hoon and Yoon Eun-Hye (much known as Prince XIN and Princess in koreanovela "PRincess hours" or "goong") looks good together...

MJ--sits!

2007-12-10T20:38:00.001+08:00

chair
Originally uploaded by can_marge1008

... oh.. I sketched this months ago..before i decided to scan it and color it using photoshop brushes... I don't think rubber shoes are appropriate with her attire..but i'm too lazy to edit..so that's it! I love her hair! Actually, the chair was taken from "Blues Clues" that's steven's thinking chair...

Emblum site

2007-12-10T20:33:00.001+08:00

2
Originally uploaded by can_marge1008

...been living in darkness lately..so i thought i should post this...
here comes the wallpaper taken from windows vista..with few edits from photoshopCS3...

wanna check the site?? ---

http://www.emblumerz.blogspot.com

The Classic

2007-12-10T20:20:00.001+08:00

I've been creating my fav korean OSt's and landed on this one...so nice! relaxing..!

Friendsterreul Hangeugeo

2007-12-08T21:01:00.000+08:00

hehe.. mamatay-matay ka siguro sa kakabasa ng title no??? simpleng "friendster in korean" lang ang ibig sabhin nun..dami pang satsat eh noh? yabang ko talaga.

wala lang... natuwa lang ako sa friendster... pano ..binigyan ako ng rason para pag-aralan lalo ang Hangeul--korean language. tsk.tsk.

excited na naman ako! sana lang maidownload ko ang language pack para makapagtype din ako sa hangeul.. ansaya...yaaaaa....

HAve a Break, Have a Kitkat.

2007-12-08T20:53:00.000+08:00

Hay! sa wakas ngkaron na ng connection..... naman.. napakarami namang rason para ma-badtrip ngayong araw na to... sa kawalan ng magawa... heto .. habang tina-type ko ang sandamukal na contacts ng uncle ko... (meaning: kelangan ko isa-isahin ang mga calling cards nya...take note..more than 100 ata toh..!) isinisingit ko ang blogging..with matching phone calls pa... o diba..ansaya.. may time pa kaya ako mag-isip ng probs???

hmm. ano nga uli sabi ng kitkat? "have a break. Have a kitkat"---yay...natakam tuloy ako sa chocolate.

Bye, p-tOne

2007-12-08T19:54:00.000+08:00

Badtrip!!
Kung isa ka rin lang estudyante gaya ko, mejo bata pero nagpupumilit magsumiksik sa mundo ng mga mature na tao....malamang, kagaya ko marami ka talagang hindi naiintindihan. Gaya ngayon. Putak ako ng putak na parang manok pero halos wala naman talagang direksyon ang mga sinasabi ko.
Pasensya na. BAdtrip lang ako.
Hay. Mababaw lang naman ang dahilan...yung crush ko kasi nagka-girlfriend na. Aw. Two years ko pa man ding crush yung mokong na yon. Sa lahat ng mokong yun ang pinaka-astig, yung tipong walang pakialam sa prof, sobrang taas naman ng grades, henyo sa matimatika, praning na group leader at napaka-misteryosong tao. Maraming nagsasabi..may kayabangan sya...totoo naman..pano may ipagmamayabang naman kasi... Madalas makikita mo xa sa couch ng library, nakayuko sa bukas na libro, kung hindi abala sa hawak na calculator, madalas, tulog sya. Ang galing sa analysis, ok din ang English..hanep talaga sa reasoning.. ewan kung deans lister yon..
At ang girlfriend?---ayaw ko mamintas...baka masaktan lang si mokong. (^_^)
"Spare the girl!!"

Sumaya nawa xa. hehe.. hmmf. Di bale na nga...at least matatapos na ang pagpapa-kyut ko don. hahaha... umamin daw ba.
Sabi nga ng kaibigan kong si Joey, "Think Positive".. o yan.. ginawa ko na...kaso wala akong maisip na bright side... kundi ang magfocus sa work, school, at sa natitira pang 3 crush ko. Kala mo ubos na noh? may reserba pa po. anjan pa sina Mr. Park, Chris, at ....sige na nga...mr. Lee.
So wala ng mr. Sigue... hayyyyy....

**sigh***
bye..bye..ptone sigue..

One month after...

2007-12-07T18:17:00.000+08:00

It has been a month since grandma left us: shocked, perturbed, sad.
We moved on, continued living the best of our lives... because that's what we must do.
We worked hard.
We endured pain.
We blocked emotion.
We knew that nobody can replace her, our mother--my grandmother. However, we decided to live with her memories, as if she never left us at all.

After all that happened, each one of us knew that we played the best roles in her theater and we wrote the best poems in her book. We loved her and she loved us.

#4- The Last Part

2007-11-05T19:36:00.000+08:00

Finally, after two weeks of battle between life and death, my grandma received and spread her wings. Last October 28, 2007 around 3:20 pm, her body gave up and her soul flew up in heaven.

God, I will miss her.

I will miss our silly fights.
I will miss her sweetness.
I will miss the way she asks for her coffee.
I will miss the way she look at us, her "mga apo" with so much love.
I will miss the way she pretend not to care too much while in fact she's ready to sacrifice everything for us.
I will miss the way I tease her about wearing maroon dress every friday.
I will miss the way she use her hands instead of fork whenever she eat.
I will miss the way she yells.
I will miss the way she talk non-stop.
I will miss our chat in the bathroom while I take my shower and she had to do her thing.
I will miss the way she bangs the door as if it can never be open again.
I will miss the way I admire her way of knotting her hair without using any rubber band.
I will miss the way she ask to be massage, and yells as if I'm torturing her.
I will miss the way she tease me.
I will miss the way she held my hand when we cross the street.
I will miss the way she reminds me about my medicine.
I will miss her endless talks about her experiences.
I will miss her being "Mrs. Know-It-All".
I will miss the way she preach.

Above all, I will miss the way she calls me "mary Jane".

During the past few weeks that I had spent with her, from rushing her to the Emergency Room up to taking her to the cremation room, I knew I had served her well. Just the way she wanted me to.

I cried and prayed, I smiled and prayed, and then cried and prayed again because that's the only thing that I could do.

The moment that I realized that my grandma's moving away from us, leaving us in this materialistic world, I felt dumb as if all the energy in me was absorbed by some unknown thing. I felt sad knowing that Nanay, who I knew as a very strong woman, who fights tirelessly, who sacrifices without asking for anything...suddenly lost her grip with life. I was shocked to realize how much I love her. I am not that showy when it comes to this, but I do love her.

Dont tell me it's too late. God knows how many times did I tell her I love her. I may not be able to tell her those words everyday when she was still alive, but I showed her love by giving her coffee, by showing her my tantrums, by asking her for something, by preparing her bed, by buying her anything she wants, by telling her my stories, by telling her chizmis, by teasing her, by being with her. Yes, with these simple acts, I had showed her my love. By keeping her company, yes, I had showed her love.

What's tearing me apart now is the fact that I will never see her again. I can't talk to her again.
What's more, she had embeded so many values that will light my path in the future, and yet, I will never know if she will be there to see me fulfill my dreams. I want her to be with me on my 18th birhtday on Christmas and on my graduation at 2009 .

Tonight, as I sit and write this sort of eulogy, I know I have to let her go where she can rest in peace. After all, she had a well spent life. I should let her enjoy her next life after every suffering she had experience here...with us. The only remedy that I can think to heal this ache, is too sleep, and anticipate the coming of the next day, when I can start working and practicing the values that my dearest grandma had taught me.

My last words to you Nanay:

I love you.

#2- ICU

2007-10-21T00:02:00.000+08:00

Alas-dose na. Kadarating ko lang galing ospital, matapos bantayan ang lola ko, uminom ng 4 na tasa ng kape sa loob ng 5 oras, makareceive ng pare-parehong txt message galing kina Christian, Tes, Chloe at Mamich, makipagkulitan kay kuya JR tungkol kay boyfriend Arnold, at manuod ng Hindi pa Tapos ang Laban sa channel 2, Material Girls sa HBO, Myeonuri (daughters-in-law) sa KBS-World, at oras-oras na pagmonitor sa Blood Pressure, Body Temperature at Pulse Rate ng lola ko, halos manlata na ko.

Nagkaron ng brain stroke ang Nanay dahil may pumutok na ugat sa utak nya. Annorism daw, normal daw sa matatanda. Ganito halos ang nangyari kay FPJ, kadalasan sa ganung kalagayan nga pasyente, hindi na sila nagigising. DEDO na. Sabi ng doktor, maglagi muna xa sa ICU ng 14 days kasi kelangan gising xa bago operahan, bubuksan ang ulo at pagdudugtungin ang ugat. YAY! Buti na lang may balak pang umabot ng 120 years ang lola ko (79 sya ngayon) kaya hindi bumibitaw. Yun nga lang, laging grogi sa tulog, madalang makausap. Bawal tumawa. Bawal magalit. Bawal dumaldal. Bawal mangulit. Lahat ata ng normal sa kanya, BAWAL.

Ganito pala ang pakiramdam kapag ikaw ang nagbabantay sa pasyente at hindi ikaw ang binabantayan. Pakiramdam ko, ako ang may sakit. Sa tuwing sinisilip ko ang lola ko mula sa bintana ng ICU, gusto kong sabihin sa kanya: "Nay, ano ba?! bangon na, lalamig na ang kape nyo!" para namang yun ang makakapag-pabangon sa kanya, palibhasa alam kong hindi nya matatangihan ang kape.

Sa totoo lang, gusto kong isipin na handa na ako sa ano mang posibleng mangyari sa kanya. Ni katiting na kaba wala akong nararamdaman.Panatag ako na malalampasan nya yun. Batangeno yun eh, atapang atao. Pero sa tuwing makikita ko xa, sobrang awa naman ang nararamdaman ko, to the point na iniiyak ko na. Ayoko lang ipakita sa kanya kapag nagigising sya. Ayaw na ayaw nun ang lumuluha, sya daw kasi hindi umiiyak (pano, barado ang tear gland..hehe.)

ayan, 12:40 na. siguro naman, makakatulog ako ng mahimbing. Kelangan bumawi ng lakas.. AJA!

Unang post.

2007-10-20T11:37:00.000+08:00

Pasensya na at gulung-gulo pa ang utak ko. Mejo hibang pa sa codes, at naduduling na dahil sa kakulangan sa tulog. Masabi lang na may nai-post ako, kya heto muna. (T_T) babawi ako. Promiz!!